Mess, distressed

An original poem by Melissa McDevitt

Mess, distressed

I’m a mess

I am feeling drugged,

I was never a thug.

Where is the loved,

This schizoaffective?

Like another collective.

Distressed, not a mess.

It’s just now I’m depressed.

I don’t like tons of Abilify

I wish I could dignify,

Reality is not a game,

Not manic, 

No shame,

Not lame.

I want to live completely sane.

I don’t want to be distressed,

I want to live like I’m the best. 

Written by Melissa McDevitt in December 2009, refined in April 2020.

My original diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder. I was later diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I always had a difficult time accepting the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, maybe because I was not. My struggle with my mental illness was extremely painful for most of my life. I struggled with my mental illness from ages sixteen until age thirty. As a person currently diagnosed with Bipolar, I am grateful to finally be in recovery!

Published by McDevitt Melissa

I never know how to answer this question completely. I'm am asking me anything type of woman. I'm honest, sincere, and have a great sense of humor of all kinds, dry, dirty, sick, even warped at times. Very few things offend me, including dirty jokes. I have a high emotional EQ from what I've heard and know about me. On the negative side, I'm a bit moody and, at times, but become hyperactive or sad. Oh well, things happen, but I won't change. Love you, goodbye.

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