A Cigarette Addiction

By Melissa McDevitt (My first day on WordPress)

I’m trying desperately to quit smoking cigarettes. Day one on realizing I need to quit. This blog will start with my journey with my addiction.

Day one

I am smoking a cigarette laughing at myself. The second time anyone has ever taken a photo of me smoking a cig. That I can remember.

I’ve been a casual smoke since age Eighteen. Since age twenty, I became a half a pack or more smoker. I am now thirty-six F**K**G years old, and I’m still a smoker. I was the type of smoker that smoked the kind of cigarette that was on sale or that I managed to grub. It was just the feeling of getting my nicotine fix and feeling excited and happy. I hate the idea that I smoke and all the damage that I’m doing to my body. BUT, I love the act of smoking; it makes me feel alive. The entire time I smoke a cigarette, I believe I have no problems at all that lasts for around ten minutes. Ten minutes and a minute after I smoke, I have severe regret and anxiety that I shouldn’t have picked up a cigarette again.

I quit for an entire year from the ages of twenty-nine until age thirty. I didn’t have much money at that point. However, I had saved up almost three thousand dollars. I went back to my addiction after I found out that a friend of mine went to the Indian Reservation regularly. He told me he would pick up the cigarettes for me at a discounted rate. I was not entirely thrilled about picking up my habit again, but I was curious.
Day one on trying to quit is not going so well so far I’ve smokes five cigarettes and its 3:14 in the afternoon. It could be worse. It definitely could be. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the cigarette during smoking. However, I can’t believe I’m still subtly destroying myself.
Now, every day, there will be another photo of myself smoking as a reminder that I need to quit smoking cigs, as well as the financial reminder of all the money I will have saved up when I stop. This time around, I will have full documentation that I quit so that I may look back upon these times with pride and hope that I won’t pick up another cigarette.

Day one on trying to quit is not going so well so far I’ve smokes five cigarettes and its 3:14 in the afternoon. It could be worse. It definitely could be. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the cigarette during smoking. However, I can’t believe I’m still subtly destroying myself.
Now, every day, there will be another photo of myself smoking as a reminder that I need to quit smoking cigs, as well as the financial reminder of all the money I will have saved up when I stop. This time around, I will have full documentation that I quit so that I may look back upon these times with pride and hope that I won’t pick up another cigarette.

Now, every day, there will be another photo of myself smoking as a reminder that I need to quit smoking cigs, as well as the financial reminder of all the money I will have saved up when I stop. This time around, I will have full documentation that I quit so that I may look back upon these times with pride and hope that I won’t pick up another cigarette.

It’s Melissa McDevitt here. I’m a new person at blogging so far, I hope you enjoy. I love it just as much like a journal or diary from the 90s, even the early 2000s and even today. Yes, I still use a journal, do you?

Feel free to leave comments about your journey quitting smoking cigarettes. Or anything else that comes to mind?

Published by McDevitt Melissa

I never know how to answer this question completely. I'm am asking me anything type of woman. I'm honest, sincere, and have a great sense of humor of all kinds, dry, dirty, sick, even warped at times. Very few things offend me, including dirty jokes. I have a high emotional EQ from what I've heard and know about me. On the negative side, I'm a bit moody and, at times, but become hyperactive or sad. Oh well, things happen, but I won't change. Love you, goodbye.

One thought on “A Cigarette Addiction

  1. The Girl in the Yellow Dress

    A Poem by Jay James

    I saw you in your yellow dress.
    You had to know I’d be impressed.

    A shadow on your porcelain skin.
    Describing your beauty, where do I begin ?

    Let’s take a stroll, hand in hand.
    On a shady, green path, our feet shall land.

    I’ll place a flower in your hair.
    Into your eyes, I will stare.

    Tell me that you will be true.
    Then I’ll pledge my love to you.

    If you ask, I will confess,
    that it all started with your yellow dress.

    Jay

    Like

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